Even though I posted about heading into jury duty two weeks ago, I’ve hesitated about posting a response from my experience, since it turned out to be a very personal experience.

I went in to fulfill my patriotic obligation - to serve jury duty. Like most of you, in the back of my mind I was hoping I could find a reason to get dismissed, or that God would orchestrate something that would get me excused. After hearing the “jury-duty-is-a-huge-honor-and-a-great-service” welcome speech, I began to think maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

So I was curious in anticipation as my name was called for the first jury selection of the day. “Maybe this could be an interesting experience,” I thought, walking through a 2nd security checkpoint to the courtroom. “I wonder what the charges are?”

Not a full four days later, after returning a guilty verdict for 1st degree murder in a gang-related shooting, my conviction about jury duty had about-faced, and my head was swirling…with thoughts from several observations I had throughout the entire experience. I’m still sorting things out, as the trial stirred things for me personally and socially, but here are a few things that stood out for me as I’ve reflected.

• No book deal - We laughed about this the first day as a jury, since one of the other jurors owned a book store. After we had finished the selection process, the judge or the clerk instructed us that we couldn’t publish or sign a book deal about the details of the trial for 60 days after the trial finished.And even though the judge gave us permission & “release” to talk about the details of the trial once the verdict was given, not only will I not be publishing a book about the trial, but I’ve decided not to blog about the specifics of the case either.It was just too real and “close to home”.• Real: the weight of the consequences of the trial weighed heavy on my heart. I still believe that we as a jury made the correct decision based on the evidence that was presented to us. I didn’t make the decisions or actions that lead to this trial. And I still don’t have any idea what the sentence was for the verdict, since we were ushered out of the courtroom after the verdict was read.

But I’m still human. It was difficult to see the expression of horror on the defendant’s face when the verdict was read. Or to see the tears of his parents - who had been in the courtroom throughout the trial. Or to find out that the little girl (maybe 16 months old) who was with them was his daughter - to know the face of a child that was now, if not already, going to grow up without her father.

• Close to Home - Two, it was a gang-related murder in Los Angeles. One of the questions they asked during the jury selection process was “Are any of you involved in a gang or live or work in gang territory?” When they asked the question, I tried to answer carefully, but honestly, since I had then changed my prayer from “God, please get me excused from jury duty” to “Jesus, please help me to get on this jury.” More on that in a second.

But the question did give me pause, since I do live & work in gang territory. In 6 years, I’ve only had 1 problem - with tagging - that personally involved me with a gang. And that was resolved very respectfully.

At the same time, 2 gang members were shot and died less than 80 feet from my front door. It is a reality that I see around me. And I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t say that I wondered a few times if it “gang-related” on one side of town couldn’t lead to “gang-related” trouble for me on the other.

I was reminded again - as I was when those 2 men died in front of my house, as I was when my house was tagged and I had to talk to the OG about why, as I am when I see the new tagging, or hear the occasional gunshots - that this is the neighborhood that I’ve been called to “prove neighbor” in.

• 6° of Seperation - Throughout the trial - which after 1 day of jury selection, only lasted a day and a half before we deliberated as a jury for another day and a half to reach a verdict - I kept thinking about the overlaps. The overlaps with gang culture. The overlaps with my neighborhood. With some of the students I’ve gotten to know. With the youth that hang out near my house. Even the direct overlaps with my life as the day of the verdict I saw the sister of one of my former students who is clerking in the DA’s office and was in our court for the reading of the verdict.

And while I’m pretty aware of the areas of early gang-prevention through my mom’s work for 13 years in developing a non-traditional Boy Scouts program with gang-prevention curriculum before becoming a pastor, and through my wife’s work for the past 10 years as a teacher, the trial stirred a lot of thoughts about more serious at-risk gang-prevention and intervention. How do you reach kids after they’re already in?

I was reminded of the summer I helped lead a Bible study in the Eastlake Juvenile Hall. Back then, having just finished my first year at Occidental College, we would drive down the freeway, to the other side of town. Now, this same facility is justa a few blocks away - less than 5 minutes - from my house. I’ve wondered for some time if I should become a volunteer chaplain there. This trial has stirred that up again, so I’m going to look into that.

I’m also planning on connecting & investing more at CSULA in the Gang Violence Bridges Project, a gang-intervention program through the Pat Brown Institute on campus. As I thought back over the past 6 years, I began to recall the names and faces of taggers and ex-gang-bangers that were trying to make it at CSULA - Ruben, Omar, Roberto, Alfred, Gerry, others.

• Looking for Excuses - The last thing that had challenged me and also bothered me since the jury selection process was the desire & effort of so many to not get placed on a jury. The intense effort I saw put forth by several potential jurors during the selection process to avoid selection was just short of incredible. It was a big part of how I sensed God speaking to me about trying to actually be on the jury. I realized how significant an opportunity for ministry, as a Christian, it was to serve on a jury. Not with a Christian agenda, nor a law-and-order agenda, nor a mercy-for-all agenda. But with the value for truth and God’s true justice and the humility that I think being on a jury demands.

There was another Christian on the jury - at least another professing Christian - that really exemplified this point. I don’t think our jury could have come to as thorough and “innocent until proven guilty” evaluation of the evidence without him on the jury. He really showed me how much an act of service and how much faith being on a jury really requires. I’m not sure if Christians hold a monopoly on these traits - and actually many who sometimes lack them - but I do believe that Christians who truly practice these core values of the faith, belong as proactive participants in this kind of “civil service.”

Those are a few of my initial thoughts. I’m quite honest in reflecting how much of a “God-moment” this experience was for me, and honestly, how much of a surprise that it was. I continue to reflect and act on the convictions that God is giving to me from my brief but significant experience. If you want to hear more of the details, call me up. I’m glad to share face-to-face in several really intense facts of the case.

P.S. I thought the judge in this trial was excellent.  He exercised his role with impartiality, but without apathy.  I hadn’t realized how much of a teaching/instructional role the judge plays in the trial.  But this judge really gave a good name to the justice system.

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