3rd in series

The second mistake Job’s friends reveal, the “Let - me - speak - for - God - since - your - having - a - hard - time - hearing - from - God” favor, is another common direction we take when our friends suffer. This mistake is uttered by Job’s friend Zophar - “Oh, how I wish that God would speak, that he would open his lips against you and disclose to you the secrets of wisdom, for true wisdom has two sides…” (Job 11:5-6) Zophar then proceeds to “help” Job out by announcing to Job what God would say.

Sarcastically, Theodore Robinson says, “no; God is not there, but fortunately Zophar is present and will prove an adequate substitute.” The question is not whether or not God does speak to us, as though it were a charismatic dilemma that Job were facing. Instead, underneath Zophar’s statement is a worldview conflict, for “…though Zophar wishes it could be God who speaks, he does not for a moment imagine that God actually will address Job – there is no need for that, in fact, for Zophar has appointed himself Gods’ spokesman.”

Whether the need to speak up for God comes from the same fear that Job identified previously, or from some other motive - whether good or bad - his speaking at Job reveals his discomfort with the ambiguity of Job’s suffering. Like the well-known poem, I think it is instictual to “explain the ways of God to man.” Unfortunately, though poetic, it doesn’t make for good friendship.

To Zophar’s discomfort with ambiguity, Job offers a clear invitation to simply listen to his sharing: “If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom. Hear now my argument; listen to the pleas of my lips.” (Job 13:5-6) Job knows what Zophar – and often our friends – don’t: that nothing can be said that will change the circumstances. Job expresses the need for empathy and the support that comes from the presence of people, not their wisdom. “Job lets us know how much he hopes for healing from his friends. Even when they didn’t have ready answers for his questions, he still needed their loyalty, not their advice.”

I sat down with one friend to share about the disappointment I’d been experiencing. But before I could share, they quickly began to offer me advice about getting the kind of prayer support ‘that I needed.’ To be fair, the support they were offering will be helpful at some point. But the limitation of logistical solutions is that they do not “solve” the problem of pain or suffering, and can often distract us from the deeper need of those in pain, which is often just loyalty & listening. This is Job’s point.

The other thing from Job’s response that has taught me, is Job’s challenge to the value or relevance of proverbial wisdom regarding suffering that dominates his friends’ worldview. To his friends, Job says, “Your maxims are proverbs of ashes; your defenses are defenses of clay.” (Job 13:12) On one level, this speaks to the worthlessness of bumper sticker religious slogans or the clichés of popular religion. But on an even deeper level, Job speaks to the limits of proverbial wisdom when applied universally in suffering. “What [Job] needs is something which will help him to face the facts as they are, and the conventional piety of his friends has nothing to give him.”

As an example - and related to the friendship challenges that this crisis has brought - is a ‘proverb’ that I have been taught and have adhered to for many years that - “fellowship [and thus friendship] flows from mission.” The proverb has proven true in general - as most proverbial wisdom is. But it is not universal. And the circumstances of suffering that I’ve been facing have revealed its limits.

For while shared ministry may be an impetus for building friendships, it is not guarantee of loyalty or dependability or of any of the things that nurture and maintain intimacy in friendships. In this way, it has proven to be a “worthless proverb,” even if no one in particular has been quoting it to me. And this is the wisdom of Job - that proverbial wisdom doesn’t always work. That doesn’t make it untrue, just not universal. As a result, suffering is an opportunity to relearn new wisdom, not for universally applying our general wisdom. As my professor, John Goldingay puts it:

The friends insist on fitting what has happened to Job within the framework of what they thought they already know about the way God relates to us and runs the world. In this framework, calamity is unintelligible… Rather than revise their theology, they rewrite Job’s life.”

Unforunately for Job, this is very consequential. “His faith in the God whom he has tried to serve has been shattered, and the friends have done nothing to restore it. On the contrary every word they say tends to make him feel more and more oppressively the weight of the questions for which neither he nor they can find an answer.” In this is the problem of speaking for God when we encounter the suffering of our friends.

Suffering has that effect, uncovering our discomfort with God’s silence in experiences of suffering, and revealing the limits of general wisdom – whether proverbial or as a charismatic utterance – and our understanding of the way life should work out. The friendship challenge is to enter into the limits of proverbial wisdom and advice. Not to reject as hopeless the possibility of logistical or practical advice giving, but to reject the impulse to solve problems - especiall “God-problems” for our friends.

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